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En begränsad HUMORTRÅD!
Max ett inlägg per dag men två skämt i ett är väl OK?
En man och hans fru satt o kolla på tv. Mannen började att sappa i mellan golf&porr, golf&porr, golf&porr.
– MEN SLUTA SAPPA, skrek frun. Låt porren vara på! Du kan ju redan spela golf!
Stina hade under ett besök på det stora varuhuset drabbats av en impulsiv lust att köpa en peruk. Utstyrd i det nya håret och just utkommen på gatan fick hon syn på sin man Ove. För att överraska honom smög hon upp bakom honom, knackade lätt på axeln och viskade med förförande stämma:
– Ursäkta, men skulle du kunna tänka dig att ha ett litet äventyr med mig?
– Nä, aldrig i livet! utropade Ove med stirrande blick.
– Du påminner alldeles för mycket om min fru!
En man och hans fru satt o kolla på tv. Mannen började att sappa i mellan golf&porr, golf&porr, golf&porr.
– MEN SLUTA SAPPA, skrek frun. Låt porren vara på! Du kan ju redan spela golf!
Stina hade under ett besök på det stora varuhuset drabbats av en impulsiv lust att köpa en peruk. Utstyrd i det nya håret och just utkommen på gatan fick hon syn på sin man Ove. För att överraska honom smög hon upp bakom honom, knackade lätt på axeln och viskade med förförande stämma:
– Ursäkta, men skulle du kunna tänka dig att ha ett litet äventyr med mig?
– Nä, aldrig i livet! utropade Ove med stirrande blick.
– Du påminner alldeles för mycket om min fru!
En gammal goding...
At bedtime, the 81-year-old woman said to her 83-year-old husband:
"Listen... I just looked out the window, and I think the garage light is on. Would you get up and turn it off?"
With great difficulty, the old man got out of bed, opened the door, and went outside. He saw five or six burglars tampering with the garage door. He immediately called the police station.
"Look... take down my address. It’s just my wife and me here, and five or six thieves are attacking my garage. Please send a police team quickly..."
The dispatcher replied, "We've noted your address. Don't worry. No team is available right now. I'll send someone as soon as I can get a team."
Frustrated, the old man watched the burglars struggling with the garage locks. Two minutes later, he called the police station again:
"Listen... there's no need to send anyone now. I’ve shot all five of them."
The police station erupted in chaos. Within five minutes, a police team arrived in the street with a helicopter, paramedics, three doctors, and two ambulances. Soon, they had the criminals under control. Later, the team leader casually walked up to the old man and asked:
"You said you shot them, didn’t you?"
"And didn’t you say no team was available?"
At bedtime, the 81-year-old woman said to her 83-year-old husband:
"Listen... I just looked out the window, and I think the garage light is on. Would you get up and turn it off?"
With great difficulty, the old man got out of bed, opened the door, and went outside. He saw five or six burglars tampering with the garage door. He immediately called the police station.
"Look... take down my address. It’s just my wife and me here, and five or six thieves are attacking my garage. Please send a police team quickly..."
The dispatcher replied, "We've noted your address. Don't worry. No team is available right now. I'll send someone as soon as I can get a team."
Frustrated, the old man watched the burglars struggling with the garage locks. Two minutes later, he called the police station again:
"Listen... there's no need to send anyone now. I’ve shot all five of them."
The police station erupted in chaos. Within five minutes, a police team arrived in the street with a helicopter, paramedics, three doctors, and two ambulances. Soon, they had the criminals under control. Later, the team leader casually walked up to the old man and asked:
"You said you shot them, didn’t you?"
"And didn’t you say no team was available?"
Och på samma/liknande tema har vi den här:Alfredo skrev:En gammal goding...
At bedtime, the 81-year-old woman said to her 83-year-old husband:
"Listen... I just looked out the window, and I think the garage light is on. Would you get up and turn it off?"
With great difficulty, the old man got out of bed, opened the door, and went outside. He saw five or six burglars tampering with the garage door. He immediately called the police station.
"Look... take down my address. It’s just my wife and me here, and five or six thieves are attacking my garage. Please send a police team quickly..."
The dispatcher replied, "We've noted your address. Don't worry. No team is available right now. I'll send someone as soon as I can get a team."
Frustrated, the old man watched the burglars struggling with the garage locks. Two minutes later, he called the police station again:
"Listen... there's no need to send anyone now. I’ve shot all five of them."
The police station erupted in chaos. Within five minutes, a police team arrived in the street with a helicopter, paramedics, three doctors, and two ambulances. Soon, they had the criminals under control. Later, the team leader casually walked up to the old man and asked:
"You said you shot them, didn’t you?"
"And didn’t you say no team was available?"
En dam ror sakta fram i en eka på sjön och hon har flera met- och kastspön i båten.
En polispatrull närmar sig och ropar till damen:
- Det är förbjudet att fiska här! Jag skulle kunna sätta dit er för tjuvfiske!
- Jag fiskar inte, jag bara ror omkring lite här i den fina omgivningen, svarar damen.
- Klart ni tänker fiska, jag ser ju att ni har redskapen med er, säger polisen.
- Då skulle jag kunna anklaga er för våldtäkt! ropar damen tillbaka.
- Vafalls! Jag har ju inte varit i närheten av er, vad menar ni?
- Jag ser ju att ni har redskapet med er.